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​Some of my thoughts about life and comedy.

Stop Supporting Famous Comedians. Help Your "Local Comics."

12/30/2023

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  1. What's a better deal? Watching a famous comedian perform at an overpriced comedy club where your two-item minimum is overpriced frozen cafeteria food and $12 Bud Lights? Or the local comic performing at a small, local venue in the community where it's your choice to get edible food and drinks?
  2. Who could use more support from comedy fans? The famous comedian busy with their lucrative TV and movie production schedules? Or the local comic busy with their crappy 9-5 job to support their family while hoping one day their dream will come true?
  3. What's funnier? The famous comedian that has a team of writers and a fanbase that will eat up anything they say no matter how stale or outdated? Or the local comic that writes their own jokes, workshops their  craft, and works hard for every laugh?
  4. What's more authentic? The famous comedian phoning in their 7th stand-up special on Netflix? Or the local comic using their own money to book a venue, promote their show, hire friends to shoot and edit it, and post it on YouTube because they don't have industry connections?
  5. What kind of material would you rather hear? A famous comedian complaining about cancel culture to live audiences, on their podcast, and during their stand-up specials? Or the local comic that performs fresh, funny material without being bigoted or cliche?
  6. Who needs you to buy merchandise? The famous comedian in the highest tax bracket that gets free dinner, alcohol, weed, and cocaine with their performance? Or the local comic that might get one free drink if they're lucky?
  7. What's more devastating? The famous comedian that had a bad night at a club performing for hundreds of people who specifically came to see them and still walks away with thousands of dollars? Or the local comic that drove four hours to perform for six people and walks away with gas money?
  8. Who cares more about the audience's experience? The famous comedian that shows up late, drunk, and high just to ramble for forty-five minutes without punchlines because they stopped trying long ago? Or the local comic that still tries hard and knows if they ever did something like that they wouldn't get more opportunities?
  9. Who do you relate to more? The famous comedian flying first class, getting picked up in a limo, and staying in the penthouse suite? Or the local comic flying Spirit Airlines, getting parking tickets, and crashing on a friend's lumpy couch?
By all means, if a famous comedian makes you laugh,  support them. But please, support your local comics who work hard to put on shows and need money and followers so they can make it big and achieve their dream. Eventually, they too can perform at overpriced comedy clubs, get free drugs, and complain about their success. 
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Sam Howell, not liking the matchup he sees on the field calls timeout, heads to the locker room and drives straight home.

12/5/2023

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"I think it was halfway through the game, I was getting ready to snap the ball, I saw the defense in man coverage when I realized their guys were wayyy better than our guys. I mean we had NO chance out there. So instead of taking another sack I could go home and have an extra long bye week." Sam credits his coaches with giving him the confidence to make that judgement call. "You know, before the game EB reminded me that if you see something you don't like, you can always audible out of it." Although this move has drawn some criticism from around the league, it seems to be popular with veterans in the Commanders locker room. Terry McClaurin applauded it, "Now that's playing like a savvy vet, you don't see moves like that until year 4-5 in the league, so in my humble opinion he's lightyears ahead." Jonathan Allen chimed in, "We've been running the same plays week after week so it's nice that the kid tried something new, I just wish I thought of it after Tyreek scored his 3rd touchdown." The only Commander who didn't love the call was veteran backup quarterback Jacoby Brissett, "Until we get a better Oline I'm much more comfortable giving advice and holding a clipboard, what was I supposed to do when we were down by 30 points at half?!" So how is the team going to respond during the BYE week? Head Coach Ron Rivera says, "We're gonna do our best to try not to lose during the bye in case we can still make the playoffs."
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    Comedian, Author, Improviser Producer, Sketch Writer and Teacher living in the Baltimore, MD. Likes sharing his thoughts on things.

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Allan lives in Little Italy/Fells Point, Maryland with his wife and daughter.

Endorsements

"You should move here and write for TV."
Josh Snyder, Flappers Comedy Club Booker (LA)

"For a white dude with a beard he's different, Allan's humor is welcoming and well written. He's reliably funny and fresh on topics that people connect to."
Jim Bryan, Owner of Church Of Satire Comedy Club

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Allan was wonderful when he came to my campus - he has a hilarious sense of humor that really clicked with our students! He also had our students involved with some improv games that made the performance very interactive. He's a great up and coming performer with a great future - book him now!"
Craig Bidiman, Assistant Director of Campus Events at Wentworth Institute of Technology

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